I am just astounded by all the perfect people I meet on and offline. You know the ones. The beautiful, never had a pimple, always dressed and coiffed people. The ones that have never had a bad experience. That have never been hungry. Have never been someplace in their lives where they needed guidance they didn't get (tho I don't know how they made it through college never missing at least one meal).
The men that don't want gold diggers, but have nothing to say except how much they make. The women that aren't %#&@$!s but are ready to sleep with any man that shows interest. The ones that know how to cure all the world's ills but can't quite figure out what conversation is. The ones that always have the answers yet remain as clueless as the rest of us.
I have no idea where these people came from. I'm from the real world. A world where a person who never smoked can die of lung and throat cancer. Where the person with the prettiest spirit may have the least attractive face. A place where a pretty person doesn't always get her/his way. A place where a rich man may be morally poorer than a man that lives on the streets. A place where beautiful, young, talented, gracious, fun loving people die of a terrible disease before reaching their goals. One where the dregs of the earth have someone that loves the just because yet a kind heart and loving spirit may just die alone. A place where people understand that trials aren't always an attack of the enemy, they cn also be your way to heal another soul with an affirmation of a joyful LIFE.
I prefer my world and the people that live in it with me. I don't trust perfect people. A perfect world is a foreign one that I'm unwilling to travel. My joys are sweeter because I've felt pain. I've fallen a few times but I got up only to fall again. But now I stand tall and strong and steady. Loving the life GOD blessed me with. The winters aren't so bad. The sun shines beautifully when it's hot. Yeah. That's where I want to live with him and HIM.
A place where I can enjoy all the blessing I have been granted because I have fully experienced loss. I thank GOD for all his gifts. Including those that didn't feel so wonderful. If you feel this it's because it was written just for you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Dream That Would Not Die
It took me a week to write this and months to post it here because I have been so overwhelmed by my emotions. I had a dream election night. I dreamed that I met my uncle Joe. He was my grandmother's brother. I've seen pictures of him in his uniform from WWII. I've seen pics of him marching in parades with his mason hall. I can almost hear his voice because of cousins that I have that my parents told me speak and sing just like him. My uncle Joe never had his own children but all my older brothers and sisters and older cousins that remember him tell me about how wonderful he was. His widow never remarried because she said no man could ever fill his shoes.
My uncle Joe died before I was born. He died delivering dinners for his church. He was shot dead in the middle of the street in broad daylight by a police officer that was angry that he didn't stop when he was told to. Witnesses said that Uncle Joe was singing and had grocery sacks in his hand... they doubt that he even heard the officer. Even if he had, it was doubtful that he would have realized that he was the one being spoken to... the officer wasn't near enough for him to think that he was his target. Witnesses said they never even heard him speak but they were all black so they were ignored.
Uncle Joe was a WWII veteran. He was a hard worker. He was a mason. He was by all accounts a wonderful example of all a man shoud be. He had made his contribution to this country and paid the ultimate sacrifice merely because of the color of his skin.
All of this occured before I was born so I was denied the knee rides and candy the other kids in my family got. I never truly knew enough to feel cheated until last tuesday night. I never truly felt what it meant to be completely free and able to do anything last tuesday night. See last tuesday we held an election just as do, and have done, every four years since the founding of this country. This election was different. For the first time in our history a black man ws elected president of the United States of America. I watched his acceptance speach with tears of joy and disbelief.... yes DISBELIEF that in my lifetime it actually happened.
I then thought about my parents, my grandparents, other assorted relatives, and family friends that did not gt the honor of witnessing this great occassion. Those that died young, old or in between. From natural causes, disease, and finally murder. My thoughts then settled on my uncle Joe. A man I never knew in this life and will only get to met in the next. As Barack Obama finished his speech and brought out his and Joe Biden's families, I was overwhelmed with emotion. As they stood there on the stage I whispered " see that Uncle Joe" as the weight of all the years of living black and female in america came rushing through my spirit. I then felt a sense of peace I had never felt in my life as the joy of the occassion took hold.
Later that night, as I lay asleep in my bed, I dreamed of my Uncle Joe. I dreamed he was standing next to me watching the events of tuesday night unfold. In my dream, as I turned to him and asked " See that Uncle Joe", he turned to me and replied with the most beautiful smile.
" Yes. baby. Indeed I did."
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