All Five Things

I was raised to believe a woman is supposed to be five things......

 

A Maid in the living room

A chef in the kitchen

A lady in the street

A freak in the bed

and her man's best friend all the time.

 

Men have their own set of requirements as well. A man is supposed to be........

A protector

A provider

A listener

A lover

and his woman's best friend all the time.

I was always told that these things are supposed to be what you guage your relationship by. These are just the basics but are among the most important parts of the relationship because these are the things that will definitely break one.

They have to be put in perspective. His strength as a provider isn't about whether or not he drives an escalade but whetehr or not he'll support you mentally as well as financially to the best of his ability.

 

A woman's worth isn't just about how well she looks or sexes you. It's also about her willingness to see your needs and treat them as important as her own.

 

These attributes aren't set in stone either. Non traditional roles and talents are also respected. A woman can make more money and a man might be a better cook and the relationship with still work because the needs of the unit are still being met collectively. My parents both worked but dad just was much better at cooking and laundry and preferred to do that himself. He was also a monster with some marcel irons and pressed most of the heads on our block every weekend.

It's my opinion that the breakdown of relationships between men and women is because not enough of us from my generation got this lesson. We look for the wrong things and take the right things as a sign of weakness. I could go on with my explaination but I want input first.

 

Do you agree with the five things we each should have to offer our partner?

 

What are your thoughts?

Personally, I know I have all five things because I was raised that way. The part that bugs me is that I'm catching hell trying to find someone that brings his five with him. Most are focused on how good they are in bed or how much money they make and are clueless of what comes in between those two things.

Damned shame that someone that could practically teach a relationship class will probably never experience the type of relationship I'm looking for. Such is life. I'm not bitter about it. Maybe GOD has something else planned for me.

 

 

Fatabulous Me II ~ My New Truth

Now this post may be the straw that breaks many of you but I have something I must admit. I'm fat. Not thick but fat. I'm 5'2" of 198 lbs and I wear it well. See, you can look at my pics and tell I have thighs and breasts and all those other things but they just can't convey how thick indeed I am. I hve muscle from years of workouts but I am indeed fat. I have a shape. I don't wear girdles or try to fool the eye. I love and accept myself too much to try to play games like I'm ashamed of my body. I'm like blackstrap molasses. Nice and thick and slow to pour but when that sweet taste finally hits your palate...... mmmmmm!

I am not a sad person. I am not a shrinking violet. I'm just fat. I'm fabulously me. I enjoy my life. Nothing wrong with living to the fullest even tho you can't fit a size two. I'm a woman. All woman. Intelligent, kind, loving and fat. See, a long time ago I realized fat isn't a four leter word but love is. Funny isn't it? I thank Jill, and Monique, Terry, Sherrie and of course, The Queen La for finally letting it be known that fat doesn't mean depressed, repressed, frumpy, dumpy, lazy, ignorant, untalented, ugly, promiscuous, or any negative connotation. It's just fat. Kinda like having big feet. Or a big head.... I would say big lips but we know how much brothers love those. lol I am unapologetic about my size because my size is part of me.

I used to be 235 lbs so I have lost a little weight. Not because I felt inferior or thought I wasn't cute enough, I needed to for my health. Diabetes ain't no joke. Otherwise I'd still be just as fat and stil think I was fine at that size. I know that my saying I lose weight might have gotten your hopes up but sorry I'm still fat. Just not as fat as I used to be.I left all my fat irl pics up because I think I look good n them. Only my avatar is the new look. Yup I was on a roll, cut my hair and permed it too.

I feel for some of you because now you're all disappointed, hoping I was at least a 12 but I'm all 14 or 16 depending on the cut. Others are now upset because they think I'm gonna waste away to nothing. Either side is only viewing me superficially and missing the real person behind what they see. I'm a whole person, not just my cup size( which is the one place I haven't lost much thank GOD!)or hairstyle. I have a lot more going for me than I have even shared here on this blog and I know I have given up more than most. I do it because I want to show the whole person. How I think, how I live, what motivates me, as well as the things that makes my neck itch. I am not a caricature and I refuse to act like one.

Being big and beautiful isn't a bad thing just like being small and beautiful doesn't give one the upper hand. Just ask Halle, and Tyra, and all the other thin and gorgeous women that have had a rough time in relationships. I feel for them. It's a woman thang, not a fat/skinny thing.

I can't say I'm sorry because I'm not. I'm a fine hunk of chocolate if I do say so myself. I don't mind if I'm not your type. Every body isn't for everybody. We can still be cool. I'd rather just be friends with most I meet anyway. Just know that I am gonna be the self same outspoken, vivacious, sensative, down- to -earth sister I have always been. I'm still gonna write about what I'm thinking. Peek at your pages, flirt with the men, chat with the women. Play my favorite music. All the things that makes life worth it to me will continue. And I'll still be fabulous regardless of my size.