My Commission

GOD is particularly fond of all HIS children... we just don't always see it that way. Not because of what HE does but because of the lies we allow ourselves to believe. ABBA wants the best for us and HE wants us to bask in HIS glorious presence. If we let ourselves develop our relationship with HIM, we can find joy beyond what we have ever thought possible in our lives.

When we think we aren't worthy, we create a life that is less than what we could have in HIM. We hide from HIM and ourselves and put up walls that keep us from enjoying real relationships with HIM or with other people. We blind ourselves to HIS mercy and love, so we stumble along in pain and confusion. If we just open up our hearts and minds to HIM, HE can show us so much more than we've ever imagined.

Being forged by GOD is a process. It can at times be painful because it is major surgery for your soul. He removes all the things that have kept you from being the person HE created you to be and allows you to live out your life in perfect peace. You will still live your life. You will still go through things. You'll still have moments of doubt and despair. The difference is that with GOD you'll never be defeated by your circumstances.

I'm commissioned to help people see themselves as GOD sees them. Because I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, that's where HE sees fit to use me. I accept my assignment with thankfulness and pride that my DADDY trusts me to do HIS will.

So the next time you read something I've posted that shows that I'm not perfect. That I feel pain. That I have doubts. That I am tempted. That I sometimes need to scream and curse and just can't stand on my own. Please understand I'm just doing what my DADDY told me to do. When I think of how HE has held me up, I cannot allow myself to let HIM down.

Scream

Sitting in a crowd but I am so alone
I ask myself why GOD chose now to take you home
and then I realize time don't matter much at all
you leaving before me was gonna make me fall
fall to the hurt the rage wtf didn't they do
I know that it was GOD. there was nothing they could do
SO how do I get over this rage this pain
Cuz this is so intense I feel flesh melting away
I am trying to remember in the few days that you've been gone
I am trying to hold my head up trying to hold on
but my world is so off center I reach out for the sides
don't tell me this gets better I just lost half my life
See only you share my childhood memories
Only you knew all my dreams
You knew how to talk me down when I climbed up in a tree
I am angry I am lost I am sore I have hope
I cry looking out windows I cry when I see scope
yeah mouthwash sets me offI can't stop I can't fight
I see you in my sleep so I barely sleep at night
I walk around on edge I just snap at anything
I am sorry but this gets worse every fukkin dayo
h GOD please come get me before I do or say
This is out of order he was the baby of the bunch
LORD why please tell me why Stu had to go from us
I know I have to go on and live without him now
but I need someone to show me cuz I just don't know how

Already

It dared to be a nice day
The sun shone just enough
I had a truly good day
I felt free and loved
How could I have a good day
Can I ever be at peace
knowing I was having the time of my life
When GOD took you from me

Of course it's not about me
You suffered much too long
Your family and friends will miss you
For your children we'll be strong
I never thought you'd leave me
BUt I hold on to my faith
That GOD knows how to comfort me
Now that you've gone away

You know I had to write this
It's the way I handle pain
The way I feel this moment
Is hard to even explain
So I write this poem to you
In the way that you liked best
So that you know I love you
Go on Stu, go take your rest.

I miss you already.





My baby brother, Stuart R Bowers, passed away tonight. He loved it when I wrote and even more so when I rhymed. I thank you all for your support, calls, texts and prayers.
Please continue to pray for my family. We need your prayers more now than ever.

Vanessa