Now this post may be the straw that breaks many of you but I have something I must admit. I'm fat. Not thick but fat. I'm 5'2" of 198 lbs and I wear it well. See, you can look at my pics and tell I have thighs and breasts and all those other things but they just can't convey how thick indeed I am. I hve muscle from years of workouts but I am indeed fat. I have a shape. I don't wear girdles or try to fool the eye. I love and accept myself too much to try to play games like I'm ashamed of my body. I'm like blackstrap molasses. Nice and thick and slow to pour but when that sweet taste finally hits your palate...... mmmmmm!
I am not a sad person. I am not a shrinking violet. I'm just fat. I'm fabulously me. I enjoy my life. Nothing wrong with living to the fullest even tho you can't fit a size two. I'm a woman. All woman. Intelligent, kind, loving and fat. See, a long time ago I realized fat isn't a four leter word but love is. Funny isn't it? I thank Jill, and Monique, Terry, Sherrie and of course, The Queen La for finally letting it be known that fat doesn't mean depressed, repressed, frumpy, dumpy, lazy, ignorant, untalented, ugly, promiscuous, or any negative connotation. It's just fat. Kinda like having big feet. Or a big head.... I would say big lips but we know how much brothers love those. lol I am unapologetic about my size because my size is part of me.
I used to be 235 lbs so I have lost a little weight. Not because I felt inferior or thought I wasn't cute enough, I needed to for my health. Diabetes ain't no joke. Otherwise I'd still be just as fat and stil think I was fine at that size. I know that my saying I lose weight might have gotten your hopes up but sorry I'm still fat. Just not as fat as I used to be.I left all my fat irl pics up because I think I look good n them. Only my avatar is the new look. Yup I was on a roll, cut my hair and permed it too.
I feel for some of you because now you're all disappointed, hoping I was at least a 12 but I'm all 14 or 16 depending on the cut. Others are now upset because they think I'm gonna waste away to nothing. Either side is only viewing me superficially and missing the real person behind what they see. I'm a whole person, not just my cup size( which is the one place I haven't lost much thank GOD!)or hairstyle. I have a lot more going for me than I have even shared here on this blog and I know I have given up more than most. I do it because I want to show the whole person. How I think, how I live, what motivates me, as well as the things that makes my neck itch. I am not a caricature and I refuse to act like one.
Being big and beautiful isn't a bad thing just like being small and beautiful doesn't give one the upper hand. Just ask Halle, and Tyra, and all the other thin and gorgeous women that have had a rough time in relationships. I feel for them. It's a woman thang, not a fat/skinny thing.
I can't say I'm sorry because I'm not. I'm a fine hunk of chocolate if I do say so myself. I don't mind if I'm not your type. Every body isn't for everybody. We can still be cool. I'd rather just be friends with most I meet anyway. Just know that I am gonna be the self same outspoken, vivacious, sensative, down- to -earth sister I have always been. I'm still gonna write about what I'm thinking. Peek at your pages, flirt with the men, chat with the women. Play my favorite music. All the things that makes life worth it to me will continue. And I'll still be fabulous regardless of my size.
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