The Bigger Picture.

I had a very interesting debate yesterday with a young man that kind of left me wondering if this is why I'm not meeting the men I want to meet.

I have been meeting plenty of ewanna be players, a lot of pseudo pimps and a great number of men that I think may need to seek the assistance of a mental health professional. I meet brothers that don't like to read, don't like to think, and aren't interested in much besides my bra size and how soon they can come and spend the night. I was starting to get a lil discouraged when I saw a reply by a young man to post about how a woman should be treated. It was very eye opening and it seems to be way too common.

This young man made the comment that he doesn't treat any woman "special" til she proves herself worth his time. He's not about to bother treating just any woman well. He saves that for the woman he loves. No man should treat a woman with respect and kindness just because... only if she proves she deserves to be treated well.

He is not alone. From the clowns I meet online and off, I would say he's one of quite a few seemingly grown folks that shouldn't be allowed out without a handler. Even women ahve bought into this by either accepting this behavior from men in order to "earn their love and respect". Or they fall into the category of angry women that treat all men like dogs and have no inkling of how to treat a man, good or otherwise. This is an epidemic and it pretty much is the reason these fools are always complaining that they can't find a good man/woman.

If this is how you think then you are thinking backwards. Love develops because of trust, kindness and respect. If you don't show any of these things, by the time you decide she's worthy, she'll know that you're not. Some men have a truly messed up mental of treating all women the same old crappy way. When they realize that a woman they are treating "like a prostitute" is actually a princess, she already knows he's a just frog and wants no parts. You should treat people well until they prove themselves unworthy, not the other way around. You haven't lost anything by being kind. You lose the opportunity for everything when you act an %#&@$!.You can't take back a bad impression you've left on someone. Even if you think you can, it still takes a lot more time than a person is willing to give if they don't have to.

A lot of people make the ultimate mistake of treating people like they should be grateful that they deigned to show some interest. Not only is that an insult to a person's intelligence and character, it lets you know that, in their opinion, women are merely a piece of tail that you use until you meet the one. The sad thing about that is that you don't always know that a person is the one at first meeting. That is a realization that often comes from time spent. Not something you know soon as you see my butt or breasts. Not something you can see because I'm pretty, either. The fact that he didn't know that proves he is subpar. No man worth his testicles would ever treat a woman like that unless he knows deep down that he isna't about much. He complains about gold diggers and the like but he also knows he has to lead with his wallet, and his attitude, so that he could pull some weak minded woman that's easily impressed. Otherwise he'd get nan female to even speak to him past the first convo....... if he even gets that far.

If you really feel that you have to be in love with a woman BEFORE you treat her correctly,it's no wonder that the women you're interested in don't give you the time of day. It's not about your your lack of money, your physical attributes, looks, job, what have you... it's your arrogance and negative attitude that shines through and turns people off. Whether you know it or not, a woman of any kind of substance can smell that kinna triflin. Your cologne can't cover it up and the mix of scents will make her nauseous.

Don't think I'm on a man bashing kick.... I am not. I just think it's time someone made men understand that "treating em like a prostitute" is the reason they can't find what they are looking for in a woman. No woman worth a grain of salt is gonna stick around while you treat her any old way. By the time you realize who she is you've already lost her. The same can be said about women that pass by good men. The reason I didn't go in depth there is that someone is always telling us how we need to step up our game. I just thought it was time to let you know yours needs a little work as well.